Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Onion - In The News - June 2005

IN THE NEWS
Bush Caught In One Of His Own Terror Traps
Bush Caught In One Of His Own Terror Traps

State Champs Erect Triumphal Arch
State Champs Erect Triumphal Arch

PETA Complains As Revised SAT Tested On Chimpanzees PETA Complains As Revised SAT Tested On Chimpanzees
Origami Bird Poached
For Scrap Paper

Lower Class Dismissed

Enchanted By Own Innocence, Michael Jackson Molests Self
Enchanted By Own Innocence, Michael Jackson Molests Self

Life At Neverland Ranch Returns To Ludicrous

Secret Service Not Sure If That Suit Of Armor Was In Oval Office Yesterday
Secret Service Not Sure If That Suit Of Armor Was In Oval Office Yesterday

New Lawn-Care Product Makes Neighbor's Lawn Less Green
New Lawn-Care Product Makes Neighbor's Lawn Less Green

Mail-Order Bride Comes In Wrong Color, Size

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